Mel's Little World ...

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Is it now WOMEN who buy the drinks?

I was talking to Danny this morning about his night out last night and I asked him whether any girls tried to hit on him and he said sort of yes. I asked him, "What did she say?" and he said she asked him whether she could get a drink for him. I thought that was very weird! Am I really out of the loop or are GIRLS now the ones buying the drinks? Maybe its a new wave of girl power that I haven't noticed. I then tried to imagine whether I would buy a stranger a drink if I were single. The thought seemed so foreign to me ... what if the guy said no like how Danny said no to that girl? That would be quite humiliating since ur offering someone something for free but they reject you. Then I thought - hang on, do guys go through that same insecurity?

Please let me know if u have seen/know girls who buy drinks for guys! And guys - do u feel insecure/nervous when u buy drinks for girls?


posted by Mel at 1:41 pm

10 Comments:

  • i think thats a great idea... girls buying guys drinks and its about time too. hehehe

    i think it all depends what point of view you're looking at and how other may see it...

    guys buying girls (stranger) drinks... can be looked at in 2 ways
    1. the guy has an interest with girl and might want to pursue something or he has other motives..

    2. the gester of be friendly and being nice, much alike when a soldier offering another soldier smokes...

    and i think its vice versa with girls buying guys drinks

    i mean i get drinks offered from time to time... and 50% of time i turn them down... only because im not drinker.


    let me ask you this questions, do girls actually and fully expects guys to buy them drinks?
    and if a guy doesnt buy her drinks, what does it make of him? cheap / tight arse??? would like to hear girls opinion...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:51 pm  

  • First of all, you're thoughts are like taken out of an episode of sex in the city. However, very interesting though.

    Ive been in the pick-up market for many years now, and i can honestly say that ive never been offered a drink by a girl. My view is that the pick-up market is a bit weird in sydney. My impression is that guys are so up themselves that they'd rather not go up to a girl than risk a possible rejection. Whilst girls on the other hand. First of all, my impression is that they see through these types of guys. They know that these guys will eventually after enough beers come up to them & pull a pathetic line which totally doesnt work. I had an experience on this at hugos a couple of sundays ago where i sat together with some girls who were 'reading' a group of guys as pr. above discussion.

    My thoughts are that girls have a lot of market power. Im not sure whether this is because girls see through guys easier than guys see through girls or if it can be explained by supply/demand theory. Cause clearly, there are more hot guys than hot girls in this city. Another reason to explain the male inferiority is that a man would often hit on a girl to fullfill a very short-term need. Not having been able to fullfill this need for quite a while may make a guy somewhat desperate. & hence loose market power.

    With respect to above my conclusion is that the guy is the applicant & the chick is the judge. Hence, i dont see why girls would bother buying drinks to guys... Or...maybe im just this biggest loser who girls couldnt be bother to treat... ;+)

    John

    I was talking to Danny this morning about his night out last night and I asked him whether any girls tried to hit on him and he said sort of yes. I asked him, "What did she say?" and he said she asked him whether she could get a drink for him. I thought that was very weird! Am I really out of the loop or are GIRLS now the ones buying the drinks? Maybe its a new wave of girl power that I haven't noticed. I then tried to imagine whether I would buy a stranger a drink if I were single. The thought seemed so foreign to me ... what if the guy said no like how Danny said no to that girl? That would be quite humiliating since ur offering someone something for free but they reject you. Then I thought - hang on, do guys go through that same insecurity?

    Please let me know if u have seen/know girls who buy drinks for guys! And guys - do u feel insecure/nervous when u buy drinks for girls?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:52 pm  

  • To 8:51PM anonymous - well if a guy was going after a girl, the girl would expect him to buy a drink for her to show he's not tightass. However, if i got approached by a stranger who offered me a drink, i wouldnt take the offer because they expect something back in return and its clear that they're tryin 2 pick u up! But if I was with guys that i know, by them buying me a drink, it shows that they are polite and generous and i therefore have respect for them.

    And John - there are definitely more hot GIRLS than hot guys in sydney!!!

    By Blogger Mel, at 1:39 pm  

  • nope! i havent seen any girls do that...yet! but i can see one of my friends doing that though, although whether she has or not, im not sure...id be too scared to do it hehehehe...
    glad...*

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:52 pm  

  • haha great discussion point mel!

    well i've certainly never had a girl offer to buy me a drink or anything, but i have had random girls just ask my number out of the blue! - usually happens when i'm on my motorbike so...

    but yeah fully - of course guys go through that insecurity about getting rejected - that's why it's so much easier for girls - all u do is sit back and look pretty and u'll get attention!

    and finally, i reckon there are probably an equal number of hot guys AND girls in sydney - it's just that the grass is always greener on the other side

    By Blogger jono, at 2:36 pm  

  • thinking about it... i think guys takes it harder either way, cos if you buy a girl a drink they think you're trying to something onto them, and if dont buy them a drink they they think you're a tight arse or something... either way guys lose.

    " there are definitely more hot GIRLS than hot guys in sydney!!!"
    yeh, its a pitty that there aint that many SINGLE & AVAILABLE HOT GIRLS in sydney...

    anyway i think mel would agree with me that without a personality, HOT will only last for that moment...

    and for the girls HOT is a measure how many truck load of makeup you wear and how many inches of cloth that is wrap around the girls' skin.

    i've have met many type of girls and some has the looks and so forth and believe me this one girl whom i met had a REALLY REALLY UGLY personality and eventhough other may think she is good looking & hot, i always see her as U.G.L.Y! ... maybe one day she'll wake up and realise herself and change.. maybe she wont.

    so anyway.. mama san when you do find that girl - with a gorgeous personality and great smile and great features... can you send her over this way to me, i would like to get to know her. ^_^ would appreciated very much. too bad you're taken already...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:40 pm  

  • Hey Baz - if u ever buy a drink for a girl who u just met who isn't ur gf's friend or female friend's friend, then we (well maybe its just me) think the guy might be trying to hit on them. But the way to solve that problem is to buy drinks for everyone! So buy it for the new girl u've met and her friend(s) as well. Oh... but then that might mean ur trying to hit on both! hmm. Anyone have any suggestions?

    By Blogger Mel, at 1:45 pm  

  • once i was out at a bar (okay more than once) and started chatting to this girl who had been making eye contact with me all night.. we flirted for a while etc and she was sitting really close to me.. after i bought her a drink she told me she had a boyfriend and sorry about the games.. what kind of a tightass would pimp themselves for ONE drink!!

    i reckon you can't just approach somebody and go 'can i buy you a drink' because more often than not the person is going to say no because of the 'implied contract' that they would have to drink it with you (except in the case of the low forms of life as above) and they have no idea who you are.. so i reckon you should look for a sign (any sign) like eye contact smile etc, try and strike up a convo and if you get on with the person then buy them a drink.. i think that removes the idea that you're only after satisfying you're most immediate needs (even if you are)..

    working in a bar you see all sorts of pickups.. i think its a case of horses for courses.. some girls are threatened by over-confident, smooth guys because of the impression that these guys do this all the time... other girls love it because they get the impression that these guys do it all the time :) the nervous guys are the funniest because they drink and drink before they finally get the courage to approach someone but by that stage they just come across as complete jerks and end up with either a cheap girl or doing something they regret like taking the girl to the bathrooms..

    i don't think its insulting that girls buy you a drink.. its all part of the blurred lines of chivalry etc in the modern age.. but you'd have to buy the next one if there is a next one..

    By Blogger A, at 1:16 pm  

  • hmmm just a question

    what ever happens to the old fashion way?

    "good evening, i saw you at church this morning with your parents and i was wondering you would like to go on a tandem bike ride together along the cherry blossom trail."

    ??

    mama san looking forward to your bday bash... ^_^

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:21 pm  

  • There are some ppl who are blog-comment-shy. A lot of people when they see me in person mention my blog in some way but I don't know that they've seen my blog beause they dont comment. Please dont be comment shy! Your comments are very much appreciated! I was talking to Jamson just then on msn and this is his opinion:

    Jamo says:
    well my opinion on that is that women claim equal rights on all things! I disagree that it should always be up to men to make the first move by offereing to buy a drink.
    Jamo says:
    So women, if they see someone they like, should offer.
    Jamo says:
    And yes, it has been happening more and more
    Jamo says:
    Having said that....just cos a guy offers to buy a girl a drink doesn't mean anything!!!!!! HAHAH. For some ppl, it mite mean they wanna get into ur pants, but for other ppl it's simply the socially accepted thing to do so they offer. Nothing more than that. So it's good that the trend is changing

    By Blogger Mel, at 5:09 pm  

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