Tick tock tick ...
Breaking up with someone you've been together for years is not easy. But rationality finally overcame emotions and we broke up. It's not natural to have someone you've been closest to for 3 years to suddenly detatch from your life and force yourself not to speak to them at all. However, its the best way as you wait for the time to tick and keep on ticking so that the pain will subdue. If you contact the person, memories flare up again and time takes longer to heal the wounds.
A lot of people think I'm crazy for breaking up with Danny but a few do understand. We were going so well and he was so perfect, so understanding, and treated me so well. However, I was growing tired of being in a relationship and something in me was struggling for space and time alone to myself. I wasn't appreciative of him and he doesn't deserve that. Thinking about it rationally, I'm too young to be in such a long relationship, I haven't been alone for awhile and need to force myself out of my comfort zone to see how I will react to the world around me. What would Mel do and what direction would she take if she's alone with nobody to depend on? I think it's important in knowing yourself before you can happily commit to a relationship. I want to know my limits and how far I can cope and how strong I can be. I've taken a huge risk but can cope with the thought of us both knowing its the best for us both. I've been called selfish, I've been called stupid (by friends in a 'nice' way) yet I still think its the best way for us. Why keep on going on in a relationship when your heart is not fully into it?
"Happiness is being true to yourself, knowing who you are, and knowing what you want to do". I need some working on them all. Not that I'm not happy but I understand that those factors would contribute to long term happiness. I'm a bit all over the place and need to know the direction that I'm taking in life. But am I all over the place? Maybe it's just my own deceiving perception. Another thing to find out.
I had an interesting experience this week. Someone at work said I've been acting like a bitch and I've never been called a bitch before. I didn't take offence to it and was rather fascinated by this new identity that was given to me.
Another interesting thought- why can't people remember that a dance event is called "We love Sounds"? People call it 'A day of Sounds', 'A day of breaks' and today someone said 'Sounds are Good'. Anyways, I'll be going to We Love Sounds next weekend with 5499 other people and hearing Deep Dish play 'Flashdance' again (since its not overplayed enough) and Boogie Pimps (I can imagine my girlfriends and me singing enthusiastically and embarassingly loud to 'Sunny') plus other DJs (ahh.. I am in so much need of lots of good breaks music).
A lot of people think I'm crazy for breaking up with Danny but a few do understand. We were going so well and he was so perfect, so understanding, and treated me so well. However, I was growing tired of being in a relationship and something in me was struggling for space and time alone to myself. I wasn't appreciative of him and he doesn't deserve that. Thinking about it rationally, I'm too young to be in such a long relationship, I haven't been alone for awhile and need to force myself out of my comfort zone to see how I will react to the world around me. What would Mel do and what direction would she take if she's alone with nobody to depend on? I think it's important in knowing yourself before you can happily commit to a relationship. I want to know my limits and how far I can cope and how strong I can be. I've taken a huge risk but can cope with the thought of us both knowing its the best for us both. I've been called selfish, I've been called stupid (by friends in a 'nice' way) yet I still think its the best way for us. Why keep on going on in a relationship when your heart is not fully into it?
"Happiness is being true to yourself, knowing who you are, and knowing what you want to do". I need some working on them all. Not that I'm not happy but I understand that those factors would contribute to long term happiness. I'm a bit all over the place and need to know the direction that I'm taking in life. But am I all over the place? Maybe it's just my own deceiving perception. Another thing to find out.
I had an interesting experience this week. Someone at work said I've been acting like a bitch and I've never been called a bitch before. I didn't take offence to it and was rather fascinated by this new identity that was given to me.
Another interesting thought- why can't people remember that a dance event is called "We love Sounds"? People call it 'A day of Sounds', 'A day of breaks' and today someone said 'Sounds are Good'. Anyways, I'll be going to We Love Sounds next weekend with 5499 other people and hearing Deep Dish play 'Flashdance' again (since its not overplayed enough) and Boogie Pimps (I can imagine my girlfriends and me singing enthusiastically and embarassingly loud to 'Sunny') plus other DJs (ahh.. I am in so much need of lots of good breaks music).
posted by Mel at
8:37 pm
2 Comments:
Gosh mel, I think its highly ignorant of your friends to call you stupid for breaking up with Danny. Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships one MUST be selfish in order to be HONEST and therefore FAIR and therefore NOT SELFISH at all!!!
You feel this is right, so it must be. Only you can really understand what is happening between you and Danny and know what is right to do.
As for being called a bitch - doesn't that suck? Ive had more than a few bad reports about myself come back to me, and it always surprises me. Not surprises me that people thought bad things about me, but that they had thought anything of me at all!
People are weird.
Fuck em.
By
Monica Tan, at 1:48 am
Haha Mon ever since i've known u, u've had the 'fuck em' attitude. Its not quite me but I am learning not to take what ppl say to heart. Btw i loved all your stories from Barcelona! Looking forward to reading where ur heading next.
By
Mel, at 11:56 am
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