Things NOT to do on Dates

I've technically been on only one date which was long ago last year but the list below includes times where I've hung out with guys that I've met. So here is a list of things that you shouldn't do on dates (and yes, they happened to me):

1. Fall asleep on the date by putting your head down on the table and closing your eyes while they are speaking, thinking that they will think its a compliment that you're comfortable with them enough to do that.

2. Offer to pay the bill but when pulling out your wallet, realising that the gum you thought you had put in a tissue during the movie is actually on your wallet. And when handing over the money to the waitor, having the gum spread from the wallet to your fingers and subsequently onto the coins you give the waitor and therefore creating a stringy cob-web like mess between your bag, yourself, and the waitor.

3. Get blood all over your jeans while talking about life over lunch from a random nose bleed that happens once every 3 years. And having to be taken to a bar to get soda water to get the blood off your jeans and being propped up in the corner of the bar where theres sunlight so that the wet patches on your jeans can dry off. (I tried to dry my jeans in the bathroom hand dryer but I wasn't tall enough and nearly tripped and fell on my face in the process of trying to extend my leg high enough to the hand dryer).

4. Have the guy think you can't stay away from your parents for longer than 2 minutes because of lack of creative thinking when coming up with an excuse as to why you have to go to the bathroom once again from drinking too much water. It was 6am at a club and when was asked where I was going I said, "Um.. I'm going to call my parents to see how they are".

5. Write an email the next day of all the things that went wrong. This is what I wrote:
- they didnt take my movie voucher
- your coke spilled everywhere
- we couldnt find cinema 5
- male bathroom was closed
- still couldnt find cinema 5
- the starburst squirt lolly squirted onto my top leaving a mess
- bottle shop was closed
- M. and friend stunk the room cuz were smoking pot so had to go somewhere else
- other bottle shop was closed
- the bar closed while we were still drinking
- the road you wanted to drive into to drop me off said 'no entry'
-you broke the window handle on M.'s car

6. Tell them within the first hour you meet them that you don't want to be in a relationship

7. Trip over everytime you see them

8. Spray snot on their face when you laugh because you have a cold.

No wonder why my love life is quite dire at the moment. My most recent involvement with a guy involved shopping with my gay friend last weekend who made me try on a school uniform-like-dress and tried to force me to buy it to wear to the Mardi Gras so that I can be his faghag.

My Cruise to Vanuatu and New Caledonia

I went on a 2 week P&O cruise with my family to islands in Vanuatu and New Caledonia. I really didn't want to go at first (stuck on a boat with no escape from them unless you jump out into the Pacific Ocean) but ended up enjoying it as it was quite relaxing and now have a nice tan!

Me and some Melanesians on Lifou Island, New Caledonia

* The Stalker- I had a stalker which is a bit scary because you can't really run away from them on the boat. He was friendly and appeared nice but the way he constantly appeared and asked for me to go for coffee or drinks after I said no everytime was disturbing (I said no 8 times). He first introduced himself to me when I walked off alone on an island where he followed me and his opening sentence was, "I've noticed you on the boat. I look out for you at the parties in the club but don't see you there". I had enough when I went to watch a show with my family and family friends and when he saw me there, he sent a waitor to buy a drink for me and I refused. However, when my family and family friends ordered drinks for themselves, he paid for them all and I was stuck to explain why all their drinks were paid by some mysterious stranger.

* 16- Everyone thought I was 16 years old. When I went to places on the islands, I got away with being charged a child's fare which is half price. That's even worse as a child is considered under 15 yrs old. I don't think I look THAT young??

* I want to work in Vanuatu for 3 months- A lot of people dissed Vanuatu as it was quite simple and said they wouldn't be able to survive for a week there. However, I fell in love with the simplicity. I loved the reggae played (Bob Marley was their favourite), their lifestyle, the friendly people, the heat, the coconuts, waterfalls, clear water ... that's all you need! Like many parts of the world, globalisation has tainted this country but not to a bad extent yet. When I spoke to some locals and asked what they did, they basically sat on the beach all day and would catch fish and crabs and sometimes walked to the markets. Sounds good compared to working 9-5 everyday and worrying about mortgages and keeping up with the pressures from society. But I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I'm a bit weird- I want to go back to the fundamentals of living for awhile. We've created an artificial world with articial processes and I want to experience living life without all that for awhile. I'm thinking of doing something like teaching in Port Vila. I found people in Vanuatu more friendly than the New Caledonians. The New Caledonians speak French and I guess like all things French, it comes with a bit of haughtiness.

* I threw up 13 times- I got really seasick towards the end when it got windy and rocky. If you ever go on these cruises, they feed you to death. There is SO much food. Buffet breakfasts and lunches and 5 course meals every night. But in the end I lost weight because I threw up everything when I got seasick. I didn't have a meal without throwing up for a few days.

* Reading addiction- I read 3 books on the cruise and am back on a reading phase. My goal lately has been to stop reading classics (I tend to read books written over 100 years ago) and have been reading books from around the world and more modern books. At the moment I'm reading Travellers Tales Mexico which is a bit strange because I'm not planning to go there but Mexico intrigues me. My manager said to me today that I have 28 days of annual leave left for this year. This got me excited! I'm thinking of maybe going to Europe in July. But I've never been to South America so might go there. It's a great feeling knowing that I can go anywhere in the world! And I have worked for nearly a year now so have $$$.

My Mum and sis (Anna) at the markets in Port Vila with the cruise boat in the background. There were about 1900 people on the cruise; a photo taken on the boat


My sis and I on the boat; dancing spastically on the island theme night party during NYE on the boat

Cascade Waterfalls in Vanuatu (we swum there!)


My sister and I on Divine Island, New Caledonia. Everyone left because it rained but when it cleared up, it was pretty much just me and my sis and lots of beautiful clear water!


Friends I met on the cruise (yes, including an 8 yr old). She was so cute- she told me she didn't like school and when I asked why, it was because she saw two 4 yr olds kissing at school.


We went to Wala Island in Vanuatu which had cannibals (translation: Tour to cannibalism area); random chickens roaming around on the island (I have never seen chickens on a beach)


My sis and a Melanesian in Lifou; my Dad and I exploring Lifou Island, New Caledonia